Choose Life.

Last week Indian Television Industry and Indians were devastated by the shocking news of a popular young actress commiting suicide. Amidst speculations of what led to this drastic step many of her television friends came out and openly blamed her partner as the reason that drove her to do this.

This incident highlights some very serious issues that we women quite often face while being in a relationship. The biggest problem is that when we are in love, the man in question becomes our world. Our entire world revolves around him. And it’s not like me or this girl in question or any other woman is ‘needy’. We are strong independent women and yet we have been made to love like that when we are truly in love. The more I hear stories of this girl’s relationship, the more I feel how similar all women are. There is no reason why a successful actress like her stayed in an abusive relationship where she is publicly slapped and mentally tortured. We have been made to believe from romantic novels and movies that love is painful. It always comes with a bit of pain attached to it. Maybe it does but not to the extent where it destroys you. If your partner suffocates you, doesn’t make you feel wanted and special , it’s not love. And while it may seem that your world has come crashing down, walking out of such a partner will actually open new doors for you. Indian women need to understand that it’s okay to be single. You need not hop from one relationship to another to validate your womanhood. Marriage is not another milestone in your life.

And more than anything else, we need to understand and accept that no matter who walks out on us , our parents never will. No matter who stops loving us, our parents never will. And just for all the effort they have put to bring us up , we should think about them before we go down a path of self destruction.

But yes , life isn’t easy and everyday we struggle to hold our ground and keep ourselves together. And while we lead independent lives in crowded cities , the rat race can take a toll on us both physically and mentally. While the physical symptoms are visible and easily treated, the signs of mental degradation isn’t that easy to pick up. We and our families often ignore them leading to even bigger problems.In India going to a psychiatrist is still considered a taboo. Only people who are out of their mind crazy go to a doctor. Psychiatrists can be good listeners and nowadays you can just vent out in front of them. Disturbed sleep, inability to finish tasks, not wanting to go to work or just feeling blue can have deeper causes and greater consequences than we can fathom. So if you think you need help, just reach out for it. Same way if you feel someone needs help, advice her that it’s okay to talk to a doctor.

Before people resort to something like suicide, they actually had started living in a shell where they only see their problems. They stop seeing the good in their lives. Have friends, talk to people and only then you will know that there are five others, maybe ten , maybe more who are going through the same hell as you. But the difference between you and them maybe that they’re fighting and you’re not. Don’t look at problems, find solutions. As long as there is life, there is hope.Ending your life might end your grief but you will pass on your grief to your loved ones. And no one should be that selfish.

Being in love should be a happy and exciting experience. If it sucks the life out of you , it never was love. Choose life and you will find love waiting for you just round the corner.

 

Image source : World Health Organization Mental Health.